


Falling

by MearaRutherford



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Falling In Love, Haven (Dragon Age), first sparks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-27
Updated: 2018-08-29
Packaged: 2019-07-03 10:44:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15817290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MearaRutherford/pseuds/MearaRutherford
Summary: The Inquisitor can't ride a horse, in fact she finds them a bit too large and intimidating. She knows she needs to figure this out soon, so she asks Commander Cullen for help.





	1. Chapter 1

“I just don’t understand why you would come to me with this?” Cullen stood in the door way of Meara’s quarters.

“As a Templar you rode horses, and you must have helped train a recruit or two,” trying to keep her voice down so no one would hear her. “Who else would I go to? I doubt Solas has the time with his research on how to close the rift, Varric doesn’t strike me as much of a teacher, and Cassandra would be laughing too hard to be of any help.”

“But you are nobility surely your family had horses, how could you have never ridden one?” The whole concept seemed foreign to him.

Meara pulled Cullen in through the door and closed it behind him, “I would prefer to keep this between us if possible. Yes, my family has horses, but we also have a carriage and I never had any interest in visiting the stables. To be honest I have always found horses to be large and intimidating.”

Cullen rubbed at his temple and furrowed his brow, “and you want me to train you how to ride?”

“Please Commander, how would Master Dennet feel knowing he leant his horses to the Inquisition and their so-called Herald can’t even ride one?”

Cullen sighed and shook his head, “I can’t believe I am agreeing to this, but…”

Before he could finish Meara jumped and hugged him, “Thank you!” feeling his stiff reaction to her hug, she quickly let go and returned to standing across from him. “Um... sorry I forget not everyone is as open to physical contact.” She twisted her foot into the floor as if she hoped it would disappear into the ground.

“It’s fine, it was just unexpected.” Cullen tried to smooth the awkward moment with a small smile. “I will clear some time on my schedule and see you in the morning.”

The next morning Meara met Cullen outside of the stables.

“Good morning Herald” Cullen was brushing a horse and was in a better mood this morning he seemed to enjoy being around the horses, Meara was still not so sure about them.

“Meara,” she smiled at Cullen. “We don’t need to be so formal, just call me Meara.”

“Ok then,” he returned her smile with a small smile of his own extending from the corner of his mouth. He opened the gate and motioned for her to join him, “We will leave the titles behind, Meara it is.”

“Are you sure? I mean is it safe?” Meara shied away from the open gate.

Cullen closed the gate and leaned on the fence, this was going to more difficult than he thought. “The horse won’t hurt you, they are gentle. They do pick up on your fear though, so maybe we should work on getting to know the horse before riding him.”

Meara leaned on the fence next to Cullen, “I’m sorry Commander, but do we have to do this here where everyone is watching? I feel foolish enough, I don’t want to embarrass myself more.”

Cullen’s expression changed to one of deep thought, “No, we can go somewhere more private. I’ll need a moment to saddle the horse stop by the tavern and see if they have a couple of apples and meet me by the gate past the training yard.”

Meara turned to head to the tavern and Cullen called after her, “And Meara, please call me Cullen.” She gave him a soft smile over her shoulder and swore she saw a hint of blush on his cheeks as he rubbed at the back of his neck.

It had taken Cullen less time to saddle the horse and explain to Master Dennet that he would have the horse back in a couple of hours than it did for Meara to escape Sera at the tavern. He dismounted the horse and waited by the gate, thinking about the smile Meara had given him over her shoulder he felt his face blush. _“What am I getting myself into?”_ his mind barely had time to finish the thought when he heard the approach of Meara’s boots crunching in the snow.

“Sorry I took so long,” she came to a stop next to Cullen on the side opposite the horse, “I had to explain to Sera that I didn’t need her accompaniment this morning. She doesn’t take no very well.”

“I’m not sure she understands the word” Cullen laughed. Taking the reins of the horse he began to walk the path, “There is an abandoned logging camp just outside of Haven, we can go there and have a little privacy.”

Meara stepped up matching his stride, “Thank you, I know it sounds silly of me, but I really do not want everyone knowing I can’t ride a horse.”

“I should be thanking you” he patted the horse as they walked. “I needed a break, I have been training recruits and worrying about supplies since I arrived in Haven.”

“I don’t know if I would call this a break, it’s probably more of a distraction” Meara laughed.

“Well, it is a welcome distraction then.” Cullen quickly looked at the path ahead of them avoiding eye contact.

Meara was grateful he had turned away feeling the pink tint flush her cheeks, “Well, you are welcome then.”

Reaching the logging camp Cullen stopped and turned to Meara, “May I have one of the apples?” He took the apple and broke it into two pieces, “The first thing you have to do is recognize the horse doesn’t want to hurt you, you will make him nervous if he feels you are afraid of him.” He gave one piece to Meara and offered the other piece to the horse, “Keep your fingers flat and offer him the apple. He won’t bite, I promise.”

Meara reached out with a shaky hand and offered the horse the apple, at first he just sniffed at Meara’s hand and sleeve. Then he took the apple from her outstretched palm.

“Now pet him on the nose, gently.” Cullen reached out to steady the horse.

Meara reached up touching the horse just below the white splash between his eyes, “He is so soft!” She ran her fingers up his cheek and into his mane giving him a gentle scratch behind the ear before petting his neck. The horse seemed to enjoy her touch, and Cullen looked pleased that she hadn’t backed away.

“Do you think you want to try sitting on him?” he felt encouraged by the way Meara was fascinated by the horse’s response to her touch.

“By myself? I don’t even know how!”

“Here, let’s take this in small steps.” Cullen mounted the horse and offered Meara his hand. “Put your foot in the stir up here and slide your other leg over the back of the horse.”

Meara was hesitant, “Can he hold two of us?”

Cullen laughed, “Yes, he will be fine!”

Meara took his hand and stepped into the stir up, sliding her leg over the horse she settled herself onto his back in front of Cullen. She reached out and ran her fingers through his mane not sure if she was trying to reassure herself or the horse.

Cullen slid one arm around either side of her picking up the reins, “Here, hold these gently. I will steer but I want you to get a feel for how the horse responds and how to instruct him.”

“What? You didn’t say we were going to move you said we were going to _sit_ on the horse!” Meara tensed up.

Cullen let out a deep sigh, “The horse has to move for you to ride him.”

“I know that” Meara turned to look at him, “but what if I fall off? It isn’t like there is a lot of room up here with your armor pushing me forward!”

Cullen placed the reins across the horse’s neck and took off his gloves placing them in the saddle bag. He removed his mantle and unbuckled his armor lowering it the ground piece by piece. “Ok, now lean back.” he reached around her again picking up the reins.

Meara sat back against his chest, his arms around her holding out the reins to her. She slowly took them from his hands.

Cullen leaned forward over her shoulder, “I want you to just hold the reins, let me steer I want you to feel the tension on the reins, not too tight or too loose, and feel the way I tell him which way I want him to go.” He placed his hands over hers, they were strong and calloused from his sword. Pin pricks of electricity danced where his skin touched hers, he was warm against her back and he smelled amazing. Meara found she was biting her lower lip as she tried to find her place in his hold.

“Are you ok? You look terrified.”

Meara turned to look at him and caught her hair in the stubble on his cheek, “I’m ok, but maybe I should tie my hair up to keep it out of your face.” She pulled a ribbon from around her wrist and used it to tie her hair into a ponytail. “That should do it, after all you need to see where we are going right?” she hoped the moment would help her clear her head, but found that tying her hair back just allowed her to feel his breath on the back of her neck.

Cullen wrapped his arms around her again placing his hands over hers. Leaning forward he realized just how close the two of them were. Her hands were soft and small under his own and she had settled into his arms as he lead the horse to take a few small steps.

“Cullen, you are sure this is safe?”

He liked the way his name rolled off her tongue, “I’ve got you, I won’t let you fall.”

Meara bit her lip again as she felt his voice rumble through her chest, “It may be too late” she said softly. She hoped she hadn’t said it loud enough for him to hear but given the close quarters and the way she saw him pull the corner of his mouth into a smirk, she knew he had.

“A few steps weren’t too bad, let’s see if we can let him walk at more of a normal pace for a bit.”  Cullen lead the horse to walk a little faster. “Try to relax, let yourself feel the way the horse moves when he walks. It will help you keep your balance and makes it more comfortable for him and you.”

Cullen leaned forward and could feel Meara relax into him, with her back against his chest he could feel the rise and fall of each breath she took. The slow movements of her hips with the horse pressed her bottom against him sending a current through his body. _“Maker’s breath, keep it together Rutherford!”_  he heard his mind scream at him as he closed his eyes for a brief moment and drew in the soft scent of lavender that lingered on her, willing himself to hold it with him as long as he could.

Meara’s voice snapped him back to the task at hand, “This isn’t so bad, is it?”

“No…” he tried not to sound like he had been daydreaming, “it is rather nice.” He realized he sounded more than slightly distracted.

“Do you want to try to pick up the pace?” he asked her leaning back just enough to regain his focus.

Meara stiffened a little at the idea, “Maybe we should just take things slow, there is no rush, right?”

Cullen leaned forward again allowing Meara to retreat to the safety of his support, “No, no rush at all. However, we have been out here for a couple of hours and I do have recruits to train.” He felt Meara’s posture slump as she let out a small sigh. Bringing the horse to a stop, he turned a little face Meara, “I would be happy to continue this tomorrow morning, that is if you would like?”

“I would like that.” Meara hoped she didn’t sound too eager. “Can we ride him back to Haven?”

Cullen laughed, “Let me gather my armor and yes, we can.”

As they approached the gate at Haven Cullen slowed the horse to a stop, lowering himself to the ground Meara passed him his armor one piece at a time before accepting his hand to help her off the horse.

“I will meet you here in the morning.”

Meara reached out and pet the horse offering him the second apple, “You bring the horse I’ll bring the apples!”

Turning to walk the horse back to the stables Meara called after him, “Cullen!” He stopped in his tracks, he really did love the way she said his name.

“Yes, my Lady?” he presented her a small laugh.

“Thank you,” Meara’s expression softened and he noticed the warmth in her eyes. “I appreciate you keeping this between us for now. I enjoyed this morning.” She smiled at him and started off down the path.

Her smile left him standing dumbstruck for the better part of two minutes, “Oh Maker, what have I gotten myself into?”

 

 


	2. Damned Nugs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meara is doing well with learning to ride the horse, to Cullen's surprise he finds he is disappointed when she doesn't need him to ride with her anymore. But she still needs to learn how to ride for distances, so a trip away from Haven should do the trick.

Cullen stood by the gate just past the training yard, his horse nibbled at the freshly fallen snow. He and Meara had snuck out of Haven every morning for the past two weeks and he realized it could easily become a habit for him. He enjoyed spending time with her, he liked the way her eyes lit up when she laughed, and her smile gave him an odd sensation in his stomach that always left him with a small smile of his own. She was doing well with the horse and was getting the hang of riding. He had found himself disappointed when she was able to ride along the path without him. He knew the point of all this was for her to learn to ride the horse herself, but he hadn’t expected to feel this way when she didn’t need him holding her hand. He missed the feel of her in his arms when she leaned into him to steady herself, and the feel of his hands over hers coaching her with the reins.

He shook his head trying to clear his thoughts, he was sure their slipping out hadn’t gone unnoticed -especially by Cassandra nothing got past the Seeker. She had suspiciously questioned him this morning when he had asked her to run morning drills with the recruits. The last thing he wanted was twenty questions about if he knew how it appeared for him to be sneaking off into the woods every morning with the Herald, where they were going and what they were up to. He had promised Meara he would keep this between the two of them and yes, he was aware of how it would appear, but to the best of his knowledge no one had noticed.

If he was completely honest though, he didn’t care who noticed or how it looked, he just wanted to be close to her. She had awakened something in him that he had long let go of, the idea of having someone in his life had been shelved for The Order. After all he had been through he wasn’t sure he would be able to open up to or trust anyone in that way. But he was getting ahead of himself, he wasn’t sure about how he felt he just knew something in him sparked to life when she was near him. He wondered if she felt it too.

He may have allowed his thoughts to drift a little too long while he waited because Meara took him by surprise when she pelted him with a snow ball.

“You looked too serious for this time of the morning!” she announced as she approached.

He shook the snow out of his hair and ran a hand through it hoping it would find its way back to some resemblance of being presentable. Then gathered a bit of fresh snow himself forming it into a loose ball and chucking it in her direction. The soft snowball hit Meara’s shoulder and exploded flakes into her hair, her look of disbelief that he had actually thrown snow back at her caused him to laugh loudly.

“I cannot believe you threw that at me!” Meara’s voice was stern, and her expression set into the firm look she used when trying to live up to her title as Herald. The façade didn’t last long as she couldn’t help but break out in a laugh, “Who knew you weren’t all business, you have a fun side!”

“Let’s not let that get out, I have a reputation to live up to!” a smile began to spread from the corner of his mouth.

He mounted the horse and reached for Meara’s hand. “I cleared my schedule for most of the day, I thought we might venture out a bit further and let the horse stretch his legs. Cassandra is running drills for me with the recruits, although she did question where I was going and especially without my armor. By the sound of it you would think I live in it!” He laughed as he pulled Meara up onto the horse in front of him. He had not worn his armor since the first day they went out. Meara had complained about it taking up too much room on the horse, and he rather liked the feel of her against his chest as they rode.

“You mean you don’t?” Meara giggled and shot him a smile over her shoulder, “You have to admit it is unusual to see you out of it.”

Cullen reached around her taking the reins and brought the horse to a trot on the path.

“Where are we headed?” Meara was content to let him navigate the horse through the snow.

“There is a path that leads around the mountains through the woods to a pond, many pilgrims travel that way during the warmer months. I doubt anyone will be traveling there in this snow, but it is a good distance away and will let you get a feel for longer trips.” He looked down with a small smile at Meara settled against him.

Cullen dug his boots into the sides of the horse and leaned into Meara, the horse sped up to a gallop then broke into a full run. He felt her reach for something to hang onto, “Are you ok?” he all but choked on his words when her hand ran over his thigh.

“mm, hm” her answer was more of an affirmation that she was still there.

Rounding a slight curve in the path Cullen brought the horse back to a trot as they approached the pond. Meara had seemed relaxed enough but hadn’t spoken a word to him in almost an hour. Bringing the horse to a full stop he put a hand on her shoulder, “See we made it in one piece.”

“So we did,” Meara reached for the hand he extended to help her off of the horse.

Meara picked up a handful of snow, they were a good distance from Haven. She eyed the fresh snow it was untouched except for a few little animal tracks that were being filled in as the snow started to fall again.

Cullen braced for another snow ball, but Meara just blew the soft snow from her hands watching it fall to the ground. It glistened and floated as if each flake was electrified by her touch. He couldn’t help but find himself jealous of the snow charged by her touch and caressed in the warmth of her breath.

“It is so beautiful, isn’t it?” Meara blew away another handful of snow.

“Simply gorgeous” the words dropped from his mouth before his eyes could shift their gaze away from her. _“Snap out of it!”_ his thoughts had to all but scream to get his attention.

Meara blushed, when he realized he was staring dreamy-eyed at her and not the landscape.

“Cullen, the horse is wondering off!” Meara laughed at how red his face was in being caught momentarily distracted.

Cullen was glad the horse had not wondered far, how would he explain that one back in Haven. It had been following a trail of small bushes and eating the little red berries that still clung to the bare branches. He picked up the reins and tried to convince it to follow him back to the other side of the pond but enticed by the tart berries the horse refused and continued to pluck them from their place.

“Maybe he would like an apple instead? Meara suggested reaching in her pocket to retrieve the apple as she headed across the snow.

Focusing on getting the apple out of her pocket Meara stepped on a patch of pond ice that was buried under the snow. She slid forward as she tried unsuccessfully to catch her balance before falling forward.

Cullen closed the space between them with one step catching her by the waist, “I have you.” he reassured her. Meara had reached out to break her fall catching his coat in her hands and Cullen instinctively pulled her closer to steady her on her feet. She offered him a small smile in return as her feet slid a bit more before finding a stable place to rest. The apple rolled out to the horse who was happy to stop and enjoy the snack.

“Thank you,” Meara said softly raising her eyes to meet his.

The moment took his breath away. Her weight was pressed against his chest his arms wrapped tightly around her, the light scent of lavender from her encircling him as a small breeze blew. Her eyes were bright and held his gaze as the light reflected in them, he couldn’t help but think of how beautiful she was. As they stood there, big fluffy snowflakes began to fall around them, and Cullen found himself reluctant to let her go. He pulled her closer and she surrendered to his embrace willingly. He had never felt more drawn in by anyone. Leaning in just enough to brush the side of her nose with his he could feel her breath on his lips, everything in him longing for the feel of her lips on his, the taste of her on his tongue. Taking a shallow breath, he closed his eyes leaning in to touch his lips to hers but was interrupted when three nugs took him off his feet!

Meara couldn’t suppress her laugh, as the nugs bolted from their resting spot under the berry bush and right between Cullen’s feet causing him to tumble backwards into the snow.

“Are you ok?” her laughter a little more under control now.

Cullen blushed both at his fall and the moment that had been disrupted, “I’m fine.” he laughed.

Meara extended a hand to help him to his feet, “I bet the horse frightened them, poor little things must have been huddled under there to get warm.”

“Don’t tell Leliana or she will have someone requisitioned to knit them sweaters!” Cullen’s laughter grew louder.

Brushing the snow from his pants Cullen reached for the horse’s reins again this time being a bit more insistent that it follow him. Mounting the horse he offered his hand to Meara, “We should probably be getting back it has been several hours and Cassandra is already suspicious of where I was going. She will have Leliana’s scouts out here before long.”

Meara accepted his hand and climbed into her place in front of him on the horse, “You are probably right, and I have to prepare for our departure for Redcliffe tomorrow.”

Cullen tried his best to persuade her to reconsider and approach the Templars on the ride back to Haven, but he didn’t want to push her too hard. Meara reassured him that she had given this a good deal of thought and had spoken with several authorities for advice. When she brought up the idea that one of the mages might have knowledge about the fade or rift magic such as Solas, he conceded to her decision. She had done her research and he didn’t want her to feel that he was belittling her choice, he also didn’t want her leaving on a sour note.

When they reached Haven Cullen helped Meara off of the horse, “I will miss our morning adventures while you are away, but I think you have done well and should be all set to ride out in the morning. A bit of last advice if I may?”

Meara smiled and nodded, “Absolutely!”

“Take my horse, the two of you have developed a rapport and you will be more comfortable with a horse you already know. I will tell Master Dennet to have him ready for you in the morning.” 

“Cullen are you sure?” Meara hadn’t thought about riding a different horse and was honestly glad he mentioned it.

“Yes, it isn’t like I am going anywhere and he likes you.” Cullen reached to pat the horse who leaned closer to Meara nudging her coat pocket for an apple. “See what I mean!” he laughed.

Meara laughed and gave the horse the last apple, “I guess we are going to be traveling partners then.” She leaned in and gave the horse a kiss on the end of his nose. “Thank you Cullen, I promise to take care of him.”

Walking through the gates Cullen caught Cassandra eyeing the pair as they arrived. “You better go ahead I’m sure Leliana will want to catch you before morning.”

Before heading off Meara stopped, “Cullen, thank you for your help. I will see you when I get back.”

“You are welcome” he wanted to say more but felt a slight blush tint his cheeks as he rubbed the back of his neck.

Meara smiled as she headed toward the chantry a burning sensation flushing her face.

Cullen walked the horse past the training yard toward the stables, running his hand along the horse’s neck he stopped looking it in the eye. “Lucky horse, she kissed you.” Cullen thought about the moment by the pond and how close he had come to feeling her lips against his. “You’ll take good care of her for me, right? Don’t let her fall.” The horse offered a small whinny in response making Cullen laugh, he patted the horse and resumed walking.

Glancing back over his shoulder he watched Meara as she stopped to talk to Varric, “Because I think I already have.”

 

 

 


	3. When Did This Happen?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While Meara is off in Redcliffe, Cullen tries to figure out when she went from being the Herald to the woman he was falling in love with, and how do you court the Herald of Andraste?

Since Meara had left a few days ago for her meeting with the Magister in Redcliffe Cullen found himself unsure of what to do with his mornings. He thought about taking a ride just outside of Haven, but Meara had taken his horse since she was familiar with it not to mention the idea of riding made him miss her. He decided to take a walk around Haven instead.

He shook his head trying to figure out when he lost control of where his heart was trying to take him. What had happened? Three weeks ago, she was just the Herald, ok just the beautiful Herald who had this amazing warming smile that drew him into more personal conversations than he would like. But she was still just the Herald. This awkward feeling around her wasn’t as apparent, he didn’t blush when she caught him looking her way and would certainly have never allowed himself to get close enough to share a breath with her!

The events at the pond came flooding back to him, the weight of her in his arms when he caught her on the ice, the way she smelled, and the look she gave him when she allowed him to pull her closer. His nose had just brushed hers and he had been so close to feeling her lips warm against his in the snow. “Those damned nugs!”  he said to himself hoping no one was around to hear him.

Maybe the interruption had been a good thing, how does one go about courting the Herald of Andraste? It might have been different if he was still a Templar, his life being devoted to the service of the Chantry might have made it more acceptable for him to declare his feelings for her.  The Chantry itself may not have acknowledged her title, but the people had still chosen her as Andraste’s messenger. It may be seen as unacceptable for her to be pursued by one who had abandoned the Order. It didn’t change how he felt about her, it just made it more complicated.

Walking through the snow he came to the logging camp outside of Haven, he sat for a moment letting his thoughts drift to the first morning they had come out to this spot with the horse. She had been so afraid to even touch the poor horse, but she quickly warmed up to him when he took the piece of the apple and let her scratch him behind the ear. Hard to believe this was the same woman who gave the horse a kiss on the nose when she declared her happiness for them being travel partners to Redcliffe.

He had promised her on that first day that he wouldn’t let her fall, but he had. Head over heels and he couldn’t help himself. He loved the way she said his name and how the smallest things sometimes made her so happy, like the way the snow had been undisturbed at the pond. She caught the giant flakes gently as to not melt them before she could blow them away like a child making a wish. He could sit and listen to her laugh for hours, the way her eyes lit up when she smiled at him touched him in a way he had never felt before.

He allowed the thoughts to linger on his walk back to Haven, upon reaching the gate he spotted a young recruit under a tree sneaking a kiss from a young pilgrim who had arrived last week. He thought of how the snow had fallen glistening on Meara’s hair as he held her at the pond. Clearing his throat as not to sneak up on the pair, the recruit quickly stepped back and turned red from his shoulders to his helmet.

“Commander, ser…we were…I was just heading back to …” the poor recruit stumbled over his words worse the more he tried to explain.

Cullen couldn’t help but laugh, “As you were recruit, it isn’t as if you are the first person to try and steal a kiss under a snowy tree!”

The recruit raised an eyebrow and watched Cullen continue on the path.

“Just don’t be late for drills!” Cullen called over his shoulder not looking back.

The young couple looked happy and why not? The breech would be closed soon enough, and things would settle down. Life would find some semblance of normal again and he wanted to explore what that might mean with Meara, Herald or not. Now he had to think about exactly what to say to her and try doing so without rubbing his neck raw in the process.

 

 

 

 


End file.
